How To Live So You Can Die Without Fear

What If Remembering Death Is One of the Greatest Ways to Learn How to Live?

Death is a subject many of us avoid.

We push it into the background, believing there will always be more time—for the conversation we haven't had, the forgiveness we haven't offered, the dream we've postponed, or the love we've yet to express.

But what if our awareness of death isn't something to fear?

What if it's one of life's greatest teachers?

That question sat quietly beneath my recent conversation with RamDev Dale Borglum, founder of the Living/Dying Project and author of How to Live So You Can Die Without Fear.

After spending decades supporting people through the final chapter of life, Dale has witnessed something remarkable. Time and again, he has found that the greatest struggles at the end of life are rarely about achievement, success, or status. Instead, they often revolve around relationships, forgiveness, unresolved emotions, and whether we have truly allowed ourselves to be fully alive.

One moment in particular stayed with me.

When I asked Dale what he sees most often in people approaching death, his answer was beautifully simple.

Forgiveness.

"I forgive you."

"Please forgive me."

"I forgive myself."

Those three practices have the power to transform not only the way we die, but the way we live today.

Throughout our conversation we also explored something I think is deeply needed in our modern world—the difference between spiritual ideas and embodied living.

It's one thing to understand mindfulness intellectually.

It's another to carry that awareness into our relationships, our work, our grief, and the ordinary moments of everyday life.

Dale speaks about grounding, compassion, presence, and learning to trust ourselves again. Not as abstract spiritual concepts, but as lived experiences that help us meet fear with openness instead of resistance.

Perhaps one of the greatest insights I took away was this:

Fear isn't the enemy.

Avoiding it is.

When we gently turn towards our fears instead of running from them, they begin to lose their power. And in their place, something else emerges.

Presence.

Compassion.

Freedom.

This conversation reminded me that preparing for death isn't about becoming preoccupied with endings.

It's about becoming more present for life.

About loving more deeply.

Forgiving more freely.

Speaking the words that matter while we still have the chance.

None of us knows how much time we have.

But every one of us has this moment.

Perhaps that's enough.

I hope this conversation encourages you to pause, breathe, and ask yourself one simple question:

If today truly mattered, how would I choose to live it?

Points Of Discussion:

00:00 The three forgiveness practices
00:36 Introduction
01:23 How RamDev Dale Borglum entered conscious dying work
05:32 What dying teaches us about living
09:59 Why remembering death changes life
13:14 The five-stage healing paradigm
16:23 Learning to trust life again
20:33 Compassion as a spiritual practice
24:30 What happens after we die?
28:01 Caregiving without trying to fix people
31:54 A story about dying with joy
33:35 The conversation with his father that changed everything
39:47 Preparing families for death
45:35 The regrets people carry into death
48:16 The long dark night of the soul
54:15 Advice for anyone facing difficult times
58:44 The message behind the book
59:11 Working with fear instead of fighting it

Resources & Links:

🌟 Website: http://www.livingdying.com
🌟 TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@livingdyingproject
🌟 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/livingdyingproject
🌟 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/LivingDyingProject
🌟 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/livingdyingproject/ 

About Ramdev Dale Borglum:

RamDev Dale Borglum is the author of How to Live So You Can Die Without Fear and the executive director of the Living/Dying Project. A pioneering figure in the conscious dying movement, he has spent decades helping individuals face death — and life — with greater awareness and has collaborated with leaders in the field including Ram Dass, Stephen Levine, and Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. Drawing on his background as a mathematician, meditation teacher, lover of God, and devoted practitioner of both Eastern and Western healing traditions, Borglum offers a uniquely practical and accessible map to the healing path.