039: The Myth Of Certainty - Soulfull Sound Coaching

I really wanted to touch on the topic of certainty from the perspective that certainty is a myth. With everything that's going on in the world right now people are feeling insecure and uncertain about things in their life or about what their future might hold. I would like to use a quote from John Allen Paulos to sum up the theme of this episode. That quote is: 

“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” 

When you get into a relationship, you're never certain if it will last. You might hope it does and do your best to make it so, but you have no control over the outcome. When you get a job, you don't know if it's yours for life. You might do everything you can to make it so, but you have no control over the outcome. When you start a business, you can pull out all the stops, but success is never guaranteed. Yet somehow, we manage to do all those things even though we can’t be certain on any of their outcomes. 

What's happening right now is that people are feeling even more uncertain because there are a lot of things outside of our control. I get that. What I’d like to share with you today is not how to gain certainty because one can never be certain – we can only take actions that lead to outcomes. Instead let's look at ways that we can feel more stable in uncertainty and comfortable with not feeling secure.

 Embrace uncertainty as a natural part of life and learn to let go.

Pause, take a breath and let it go. Change is not easy, but necessary and while you may not always be able to control an outcome, you have control over your response to it. When I say ‘let go’ it doesn’t mean inaction or being passive, instead it means letting go of old notions of what was to make room for the new. It means surrendering to the fact that you can’t control everything in your life. 

Replace expectations with plans. Use wisdom and careful thought to guide you forward and know that it’s also ok to pause and take a breath.

What you’re really seeking is a sense of control because again certainty is a myth.

Focus on what you can control. 

What are some of the things in your life that you have some control over? Decide what you feed your body, decide what you feed your mind because these have an effect on you. Add some daily rituals into your life or continue with the ones that currently work for you because consistency helps you to gain some control in your life and it allows you to remain focused on the things that are important – your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.

Uncertainty can be healthy. It activates our "fight or flight" response - the sympathetic nervous system, which triggers adrenaline to help us make a move. So, make a move! What are some of the things you can take action on right now? This you can decide, this you can control. Not the outcome, but the actions. Start there…

 Tune in for full episode!

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